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Mostly nonsense, occasionally stamping out microbiological inumeracy, making food safer, and making podcasts.

924 Following   804 Followers   7,147 Tweets

Joined Twitter 8/18/08

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Me: [responding to text via Watch] Him: "When are we meeting them?" Me: "4:30. Hm, what time is it?" [Pulls out phone] Old habits die hard.
Retweeted by Don Schaffner@DdubyaK the people emailing "my friend" need to read this: http://t.co/VDXLpDBFIH. Almost 10 years later. Still relevant.Why does everybody except me suck at email? Asking for a friend.
I Just bought a T-shirt for Roderick for Seattle https://t.co/75MxbHITnI
T-SHIRTS! We have T-SHIRTS! Support John, and look FABULOUS doing it! http://t.co/xM2Z7xFRCp http://t.co/NMgJVvMs3n
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Sometimes #peerreview turns a manuscript into a frankenpaper. My latest #redpenblackpen comic http://t.co/HZTlugiLVU http://t.co/sMcGcEY5ue
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Please consider participating in our study on motivation in faculty: http://t.co/FwEg5jNero $1500 draws, reports available, all welcome :)
Retweeted by Don SchaffnerProblematize.
Retweeted by Don SchaffnerBats have gotten a bad rap. Sometimes it's unfair. Sometimes there's a reason http://t.co/pBRLigVrkz
Retweeted by Don Schaffner@hotdogsladies see for example https://t.co/u8RubToAKK.
@mbbatz @GRAcuff @ShitMicroSays is sitting on @FoodRiskGuy's shoulder!@benjaminchapman whoops."Modern manhood is just deciding which subset of things you are going to be insufferable about" @hotdogsladies http://t.co/1kqwa1qH2n
Roderick on the Line, Ep. 151: "Mrs. Horning's Pepsi" The Problem: Aspartamé would be a pretty name for a girl. http://t.co/A5ukDlm7hn
Retweeted by Don SchaffnerDammit! Shatner wants our water! “@ericdano: William Shatner Proposes $30 Billion Water Pipeline To California http://t.co/lIL1zUUxXj
Retweeted by Don SchaffnerTurns out, you can make a random observation sound insightful by preceding it with, "Turns out."
Retweeted by Don SchaffnerHow to Tell If an Egg Is Bad http://t.co/DEixroWQ0y. Some practical tips from yours truly.
@johnroderick “When there was only one pair of tire tracks, that was when I Segwayed you.”
Retweeted by Don Schaffner"science is an imperfect enterprise, born of the struggle against authority, encouraging...question and doubt" http://t.co/5lN11FBxyw
Retweeted by Don Schaffner@freemanoshea Might be time to buy a new razor. When you start to experience the facial hair symptoms it can be pretty brutal.@freemanoshea I'm not sure on the half-life of pan man germs. I suspect they're pretty hearty.
Mail.app crashed. All my accounts were deleted. I just restored everything @Backblaze. You are backing up all *your* files, right?
Was about to brag to my wife how I was tooting with a guy who did the song for one of my favorite podcasts. Instead I gave myself a wedgie.
Retweeted by Don Schaffner"so what did you do before self-driving cars?" "we just drove 'em ourselves!" "wow, no one died that way?" "oh no, millions of people died"
Retweeted by Don SchaffnerJohn's OS X reviews = Legendary http://t.co/9gBbjMJFvW @siracusa
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Hawkeye #12. Lucky's on the job. http://t.co/JEOWDNRrtS
Retweeted by Don Schaffner@jxpx777 Dude! You rock.@jxpx777 You like the app? Seems well liked in iTunes. http://t.co/xNKFUoNHt9#15185 The average adult male lion, weighs up to 446411 pounds. http://t.co/xWtAEgmos4
Retweeted by Don SchaffnerCome for the iPhone tip, stay for the Roger Rabbit reference. http://t.co/AFZJHMjsqk
Retweeted by Don Schaffner@gte @dwfrank Dude. I mean. Mirroring that shot—except with Lucky? My God. http://t.co/LOkoTMcd8I
Retweeted by Don Schaffner@davemurdock @hotdogsladies Glorious art, interesting flawed lead character, good supporting cast. Those are my reasons.@capnmariam He used it when fighting zombies. Or vampires. Or something. @johnroderick@johnroderick oh Captain, my Gyro-captain!Soon giving a talk to a v.large co, partly on costs of decision making in big orgs. So far 8 people have needed to approve my ppt. Mic drop.
Retweeted by Don Schaffner@sanspoint @hotdogsladies working on the grant proposal as we speak.
@mbbatz @RobersonMichael my knees hurt just listening to you guys.Just posted: 5by5 at the Movies 3 with @danbenjamin - http://t.co/oMMgQwblav
Retweeted by Don Schaffner@mbbatz @RobersonMichael Run Michael(s) Run!
@johnroderick left.The Big Lebowski episode with me and @hotdogsladies will post tomorrow. Calmer than you are. http://t.co/RYJ0V0m0XR
Retweeted by Don Schaffner@hotdogsladies @mrgan artis-anally slathered.@danbenjamin Just sent you an email with first grade book suggestions from my mom. I hope they are helpful.@LetendreDan this one is on @benjaminchapman, I think.@danbenjamin Mom is on the case. Look for a response later today.@danbenjamin http://t.co/QzeAc6jcUm@danbenjamin Serious question? I'll ask my mom who is a retired kindergarten teacher. Cash is in first grade right?So I'm asking for a friend that is not me who has grown kids. Is it okay to listen to Cash's Corner by myself... um himself, @danbenjamin?
Electing me to Seattle City Council will, per the butterfly effect, begin ushering in a new global era of peace and prosperity (maybe).
Retweeted by Don Schaffner@danbenjamin white trailer related?@danbenjamin 😱
Troll the respawn, Jeremy.@5by5 @danbenjamin did this recording post yet? @OvercastFM is only showing two episodes.Watching The Imitation Game now. I think @marcoarment would enjoy it very much.Where can I get nutrition facts for @bobbysburgerpal?@benjaminchapman time to invoke @BetteridgesLaw?
The fan art begins. “@Fishica: @VoteRoderick #RaccoonsForRoderick http://t.co/lcrDEzMlf7
Retweeted by Don Schaffner@rjonesy @siracusa Don't worry it's self correcting. Eventually you'll be hairless there.@insane_irish I've read the original peer reviewed study the Scientific American article is based on. I'm not convinced.
@danbenjamin Maybe they listen to B2W?@insane_irish don't knock it till you've tried it!Fight 215: Stop the Patriot Act’s Mass Surveillance: http://t.co/HwBPEW3Mbt
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@siracusa @lonelysandwich hard to believe there is a pop culture reference you don't know, John.Skinny Mint Julip, created with Highball. https://t.co/h4Zq4aLFmX http://t.co/wVfpEv1JSz@hotdogsladies it really tied the whole room together.
@mbbatz I know that's the way you like it Wo ho Living wild, wild life.Jason and @siracusa talk "Becoming Steve Jobs," iPhone 6 Plus, Apple's lost decade, and robots (or not). http://t.co/uDuPIYuNCv
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@hotdogsladies Shiny, shiny pants and bleach-blond hair A double kick drum by the river in the summerI am the walrus?
Retweeted by Don Schaffner@hotdogsladies phones ringing dude.http://t.co/qhMRyv7pTh@smoemeth Today was the first time, 😆 it's part of a USDA food safety grant that I'm part of.@johnroderick @VoteRoderick mind = blown.Swabbing airport bathrooms for Norovirus. As you do. #fb http://t.co/cIgMSCaerXThose who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.
Retweeted by Don SchaffnerOperating Systems http://t.co/UneR3KxmJ0 http://t.co/mPBZucr2C1 http://t.co/rw1jR4vHRc
Retweeted by Don Schaffner@johnroderick great faith, great doubt, great determination.
@sanspoint is that like a colonoscopy?@caseyliss @marcoarment @imyke who the hell is Gruber?@bugcounter @danbenjamin Bok bok
Retweeted by Don Schaffner@danbenjamin Thanks Easter Bunny.@hotdogsladies what the life hack for Fox News at the in laws house? Asking for a friend.Fridrich method: getting pretty fast! https://t.co/WUuk5hZIl4
Retweeted by Don Schaffner@mpressmeredith @knit_wit Ugh. Terrible.
@knit_wit @mpressmeredith bizarrely not the same thing at all.@shmit Months? @knit_wit has tenure. She can coast for the rest of her career!"If someone forces you to bake a cake for a gay wedding, bake for them two." She pays attention to what Jesus said: http://t.co/IcbuAw3xqn
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@benjaminchapman if only we decided to call our podcast "barf talk" http://t.co/5VBHra726J@danbenjamin @hotdogsladies @johnroderick @jeffcannata The phone is ringing Dude.@mbbatz ☺😘Cool work by @bugcounter et al. using real-world data to analyze food cooling rates (& behaviors) in US restaurants http://t.co/cxAW84ET6r
Retweeted by Don Schaffner@mbbatz props to all my EHS net colleagues, without whom my math is not possible.Food Safety Talk 74: Lait de Poo http://t.co/eZemcxGUEM Nothing like little pre-Christmas talk before Easter. Me and @benjaminchapman.Rest in peace, Dr. John H. Silliker - a man who singlehandedly improved the safety of the world's food supply http://t.co/lQ6vfn4lgK
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@siracusa @johnroderick 😣@siracusa @johnroderick At various times? Isn't it your full-time job? I mean aside from your full-time job.@johnroderick no!@johnroderick just so you know, this is the best show on TV right now.We are stardust, we are golden, we are billion year old carbon, and we’ve got to get ourselves back to the garden.
Retweeted by Don Schaffner@johnroderick Ultimate or freestyle?
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